'Am I wrong for telling my sister-in-law that I will not accommodate her food allergies?'
A Reddit user has reached out for advice after their family's Christmas dinner was jeopardized due to a rift between them and their sister-in-law.
An online user took to the popular subreddit r/AmITheA*shole to seek advice on whether they were in the wrong for telling their sister-in-law they will not accommodate to her allergies on Christmas.
To give more context, the poster explained that usually, their mom hosts Christmas, but this year she was not able to do it.
The Redditor explained that their sister-in-law, who has been in the family for years, has multiple non-life-threatening allergies.
Due to the allergies, the family takes precautions to keep everything separate and avoid cross-contamination to prevent any health issues.
However, the reason they did not want to cook for their sister-in-law was her usual criticism of their mother’s food, for which they branded her a “snob.”
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They wrote: “[I] don’t know if I am the a*shole or not for this. Usually my mom will host for Christmas but this year she just can’t keep up.
“My SIL [sister-in-law] has been in the family for years and in my opinion she is a food snob. She has multiple allergies, nothing life threatening just unpleasant for her. Since we all understand allergies we make sure to keep everything separate and not cross contaminate.
“We don’t want to risk her eating something and instead of getting a rash she needs a hospital visit.”
Two years ago, there was an incident that caused a reaction, and last year, their mom wanted the sister-in-law to bring her own dish to avoid a repeat.
This led to a disagreement, and the sister-in-law threatened to keep the grandkids away if she couldn't be the host.
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The person's mom eventually agreed, but the SIL continued to make negative comments about the food.
With their mom unable to host anymore and none of their brothers volunteering, the person took on the responsibility.
They called the sister-in-law and informed her that she needed to bring her own meal because they lacked experience handling allergies and couldn't guarantee the safety of the food.
The poster continued: “I didn’t tell her but the other reason was I don’t want her bi*ching about my food. This caused an argument about me being a horrible host. I made it clear I wouldn’t accommodate her and she doesn’t have to come. My brother is pissed but my mom laughed when I told her.”
The overall consensus in the forum was that the poster was not at fault in this situation, with one person suggesting: “If she is such a stickler about what it means to be a 'good host' than she should be hosting.”
